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Perhaps the scariest aspects associated with the experience of going into full remission is the idea that it is okay now.

Maybe not everything is okay but, frankly, the worst of it is well and good behind us now.

But what if it isn't?

What if there is something more out there waiting around the corner for me to notice and suddenly spin into a new spiral as I seek to devastate the self further from progress, at risk of knowing anything else?

Well... now that I think about it, I already did that.  "DraculaGate" was something else and I am glad I got to live and tell the tale about witnessing oneself as the true antithesis of one's own carefully derived character.

One's established goodwill can only go so far when one spills their neuroses into the company chat claiming to have risen from the dead.

As far as losing people goes, one could count that just about accomplished by the period of that sentence.

Something to notice about any character are their traits.  When one models themselves after heroes in life in order to equip themselves with the perspective needed for the journey ahead, some interesting happenings can occur the moment one arrives at their perceived final destination in thought.

Do not meet your heroes, they will disappoint you.  And, even better, when you are your own hero, may God help you move on from that experience in full in time.

For when a hero has nothing for them to chase after and save, the hero becomes their own worst enemy.

There is something to be said about the fact that the way one produces a troll is to simply leave anyone to tend to their boredom for just long enough to bother.

For when a hero runs out of their last drops of pain, they become eschew.

Which is to say, we are the designers, curators, and decorators of our own suffering in life.

So, when one experiences for themselves the suffering caused by holding the perspective that one must be a hero in life, they let go.

Let go of the fact that it no longer serves oneself by releasing an archetype back into the fold as one of many to draw inspiration from in life.

Humans are multifaceted beings that mold, take shape, and attune themselves around their experience as a snapshot of what is otherwise an informed perspective.

When a person experiences significant trauma in their childhood, coupled with years of invalidation that press such memories off the table, context is lost.

Context is important to the idea of an individual existing in this universe as a separate entity from those they encounter from within it.

Mind you, our egos do great work at carving out divisions between our spirits and minds such that we begin to count ourselves as distinct.

As one turns to glance at what is going on inside this mind, something is the matter.

In fact, one would argue that they in fact matter.  

For one can now see beyond the darkness inside their minds as something remarkable, unique, and special.  At least for me.

When the lights go out in the experience of trauma, the scariest thoughts to come to mind these days are ones related to the intention of flipping the switch back on.

But what if therere is something still lingering in this room that I am afraid to see for myself and witness to be true?

Well, what if?  As one traces back for themselves the experience of being afraid of themselves, this is nothing but a drop in the bucket comparatively.

In fact, what if there is far more utility to turning the lights back on such that one can better grasp a clear view of the day as shining and bright?

Perhaps, then, there is more to discover beyond what one realizes is just the play room of their own existence.

It can be downright humbling to notice for a second how little one knows in relation to the infinite wisdom of the cosmos.

It can also be downright inspiration to observe for oneself how much work it took to get to this moment such that one could begin to stand in awe of their own living.

Gratitude can only get you so far in life.  At some point one needs to actually take action in order to inspire results that would otherwise entreat some gratitude.

For gratitude is evidence in the merit of self-application through experience, not a default state of living emulated in order to avoid the experience of shame.

A child wouldn't feel shame if they noticed for themselves that the space they had been given to play had suddenly gotten larger.

They would hobble over and check it out as soon as they would have the means!

One excited step at a time.

Hello World.